Go Back   RCLargeScale.com > Large Scale General Tech > Tools, and Procedures

Notices

Loading

Thread: What you need to know about tools......

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-08-2009, 01:55 PM   #1
Made in.....
 
robmob's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Napa
Posts: 3,404
Default What you need to know about tools......

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it
smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had
carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.
Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in less time than it takes you to say, "Oh, shit!"

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked,
unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can
also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire.
Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes,
trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces
that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil
cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable
screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the
most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while being worn.

Son of a b*tch TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "Son of a bitch" at the top of your lungs.
It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
robmob is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 10-09-2009, 03:57 AM   #2
Addict
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Lebanon
Posts: 732
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by robmob View Post
Son of a b*tch TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "Son of a bitch" at the top of your lungs.
It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

I ordered an entire set of those :)
hratchian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2009, 08:17 AM   #3
The Slowest Guy in Town
 
FastEddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sonoma County CA
Posts: 4,035
Default

I like it.

I was at my Moms house doing some handyman stuff a year or so back. I told here I needed a Phillips head screwdriver. She asked is that a "Steak Knife" or a "Butter Knife"?
FastEddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2009, 01:25 PM   #4
Addict
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: alameda, ca
Posts: 284
Default

Lmao... Hahaha
DISHIZO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2009, 06:41 PM   #5
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nashua, New Hampshire
Posts: 31
Default

I'll be rotflmao over this for days, Thanks...
Buzz Killian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2010, 09:11 PM   #6
Racer
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 121
Default Tools

You cant drink and drive, but you can get sh*tfaced and fix your own brakes....
islrcr1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2010, 02:54 AM   #7
Basher
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Santa Fe
Posts: 91
Default

Socket Set: Shiny pieces of metal that are kept prisoner in a tool box until they are set free, and try to escape after they shrink to be too small to fit over that bolt you were working on, and are put down out of sight.

WD-40/PB Blaster - the standard cologne of people that have tackled a job that is out of their league.
Muppet is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


What you need to know about tools...... - Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
A Question about the tools used in the Tutorials cmangusso@esrta.com Tools, and Procedures 8 07-22-2010 12:13 AM
Electric tools question from the netherlands goofyray Chit Chat 3 11-14-2008 08:41 PM
Video #2 Building the Baja 5B SS (Tools you will need) FastEddy Building the HPI Baja 5B SS. Page By page Video Tutorials 7 06-22-2008 01:29 AM
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:28 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Garage Plus, Vendor Tools vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.